The Shame of Covid
Can you die of a disgraceful disease?
There should be no shame in death. Any death is a shame but we all know that it’s got to happen sooner or later, so should we be ashamed when someone dies?
The concept of disgrace in death has been around for a long time. When military might and success in battle were seen as the defining concept of a country or race, one’s death in battle was either seen as heroic or ‘disgraced in battle’, depending whether you were on the winning or losing side and who got to write the history of it. The same types of labels were also applied to those taken prisoner. Generally, we don’t think that way now, although Donald Trump has still spoken at rallies and in Congress in very disparaging terms of such people, despite having managed to evade the draft himself on somewhat spurious grounds.
Executed criminals have rarely been regarded highly over the years, possibly understandably. They were often deprived of religious funerals or consecrated ground. Not a big deal for most people these days but in the past, this was a serious thing. Maybe that’s not surprising that such deaths were looked down on but thankfully, use of capital punishment is declining in most civilised countries, so it isn’t quite so relevant nowadays.
What is more surprising is disgrace associated with suicide. Attitudes have changed rapidly in the last handful of decades, but that outdated attitude is probably a legacy from the Christian Church. The theology isn’t entirely clear but one of the supposed reasons is that only God is allowed to create and to destroy, therefore to take your own life is blasphemous, an affront to the Almighty by usurping his prerogative. Such notions show scant concern for the person and reasons that may have driven them to such a decision. However, compassion hasn’t always been a strong point in the church.
Perhaps the most well-known recent manifestation of the link between disease, shame and disgust has been HIV/AIDS. This has been a disease with all sorts of unpleasant consequences and associations and it has enabled all sorts of different groups to push their agendas and ideas forward, no matter what their value or validity. The initially supposed link of HIV/AIDS with homosexuality has made it an easy target for bigots and others to label anyone suffering and dying of AIDS as, dirty, disgusting and shameful. Most western countries take a more enlightened and accepting approach to homosexuality. More importantly, greater understanding of the causes and means of transmission have shown that its supposed link with homosexuality is not true — that it is spread as easily, heterosexually too and the ‘shame’ of AIDS is disappearing. The life-saving medication has also helped a lot.
Dying from the Coronavirus Covid-19 has become quite popular this year! Talking to other funeral celebrants and to funeral directors, I have discovered that there is also quite a lot of shame associated with dying from Covid. At first, I was really surprised. Surely, no-one would have a reason to think that it was shameful to have died from Covid. However, after thinking about it, I began to understand what may underlie some of these notions.
Disease has been considered as dirty and unclean throughout history. It may be in our genetic make-up. Feelings of disgust and distrust associated with disease may well be a survival instinct. Although our ancestors did not understand the mechanisms of bacterial and viral transmission, you were safer and more likely to survive if you kept away from anyone suffering from a disease and thus be more likely to avoid infection. This probably became imprinted into our genes and there isn’t much that we can do about that. However, humans have a great capacity for overcoming instinctive urges and to show compassion and caring, especially for those close to us. This ability has tended to override any drive to distance ourselves from people suffering.
However, the instinctive urge to distance ourselves from diseased people has turned into an innate feeling of mild disgust. For those who are the suffering from a particular malady or condition, that disgust is often reflexed into feelings of ‘having let down’ family, friends or even oneself. To be suffering is seen as a failure. For those caring, this becomes shame. It’s wrong but it happens.
At the same time, these underlying feelings of shame and disgust have been compounded by the instructions and exhortations to which we have been subject, in the effort to control the spread of the virus. Politicians and public advertising have told us to wash our hands repeatedly, to avoid other people, to keep our distance. All very necessary and sensible advice but with the inevitable effect of the unspoken implication that anyone who catches the virus must have failed to observe the rules.
So, should we regard a death from Covid-19 as a shameful one?
